Confidence: We All Got It, Girl
How I Maintain My Confidence Working in a Male-Dominated Field
By Olivia Bartulovic
I have wanted to be a police officer since I was 11 years old—little ol’ Liv with this big dream! While I was growing up, most people were supportive of my dream. However, I don’t think a lot of people thought I would actually stick with the idea and accomplish it. As I got older, it became more real for those around me, and I began hearing all the negatives that the job could bring:
“That’s a horrible schedule; who would want to do that?”
“You’ll miss holidays and birthdays? No way, don’t do that!”
“It’s just a dream. She will get older and change her mind, trust me!”
“All that negativity and scary stuff she’ll see—no way, it’s not for her!”
And the one that sticks with me to this day…
“She’s a girl…This is a man’s job; she can’t be a police officer.”
Even today, in 2022, I still hear the same sentiment. Comments like that, especially when I was younger, tore down my confidence and made me feel so alone. I felt like I was the only one with this “crazy” dream, and so many people around me were discouraging me from pursuing it.
Fast forward through middle school, high school, and college—I want to share with you how I maintained my confidence as I navigated those crazy years, and how I continue to maintain it working as a woman in a male-dominated field. Believe me, it’s tough, but my survival guide will hopefully give you some tips you can use in your life too!
TIP #1: DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
I know this one is SO difficult, especially when you’re growing up, just trying to fit in. However, what I always reminded myself (and still remind myself even now) is that I was created with PURPOSE. I am not a copy of the girl sitting next to me; I was given my own set of amazing characteristics and quirks that make me ME.
Try to remind yourself every day that you are special in your own way. And if you’re having trouble seeing that, pick up a sharpie (washable!) and write one positive adjective on your bathroom mirror that you believe describes you. Write a new one every night before bed, and when you wake up in the morning, you’ll see those words. Slowly but surely, you’ll hopefully start believing those words, and your confidence will grow EVERY DAY!
TIP #2: DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF FROM TIME TO TIME
This one is so huge for me—not only for my confidence but for my mental health as well. Whenever I feel myself getting in a rut or feeling down in the dumps, I know it’s time for me to do something. And the concept of “doing something for yourself” is so different for everyone! For me personally, when I have a bad day at work or start feeling overwhelmed, I clean.
I know—it sounds so weird, LOL! I love to clean in general, but when I’m stressed, I go all out and do a deep clean. Whenever my space is organized and fresh, I feel like my mind gets recharged as well. If cleaning isn’t for you, here are some other things you can do for yourself:
· Get your nails or hair done, you QUEEN.
· Work out (maybe by taking a walk around the neighborhood or going to the gym with a friend).
· Plan a date night with your significant other.
· Have a spa day.
· Dress up and go out with your friends.
The last one is super important for me. I wear a uniform pretty much every other day of the week, so when I have an opportunity to feel pretty again, I take it!
TIP #3: LEAN ON FAMILY OR FRIENDS
My family members and friends have been some of my biggest supporters, and I lean on them now more than ever before! My job is quite difficult some days, and when I feel stressed with work or need advice, the first people I call are my family members. My mom and dad are the most important people in my life, and I know they are always just a phone call away. Knowing I have them both reassures me and gives me a confidence boost.
If you aren’t this close with your family, that is A-OKAY—reach out to a coach, mentor, neighbor, teacher, etc. It’s important to have someone in your corner supporting you!
Fitting in with “the guys” at work was definitely hard at the beginning of my career, but now they are all like my big brothers. However, big brothers will also get on your nerves and push those buttons. So, when that happens, I vent to my friends, and they always give the best advice!
Those are three tips that I hope either build or enhance your confidence. Working in a male-dominated field, I use them all the time. I hope you can too!
Don’t forget to always be true to yourself. You are one of a kind!
If you’d like to connect with Olivia, you can find her on Facebook at Olivia Kristina or on Instagram at @olivia_kristinaa.
