Deliberate Thinking
By Michelle Dunk
September is an emotional month for most people. Years ago like clockwork September would send me into a downward spiral. I didn't know how to manage my emotions. Back then, I wanted to avoid my feelings and escape from my "grieving month". I grieved the loss of my lazy days of summer and having my girls home. I grieved the luxury of travel/vacations, and my husband’s time off in the summer months. We go from toes in the sand and sun on our faces, to rushing to the bus stop so early that it is still dark out. We begin the routine of running around to practices, activities, assisting with homework, and teaching in my Non-Profit again, which can be a big transition. However, the biggest emotional scar of grief that I carry in September is from the anniversary of my Mom's passing on the 18th.
I have learned the hard way that keeping your emotions at bay by not processing and allowing yourself to feel them, will cause even more pain, anxiety and stress. Over the years I've learned to be present with these emotions and honor them. If I observe them long enough I can find theexact thoughts that cause them. Then the choice to think a different thought, and therefore feel differently, is available to me if I want. How we think and feel is always a choice!
Most of my clients have developed a habit of emotion like I once had. I am passionate about helping them understand what emotions that they have memorized and by default go to without being aware that they are doing so. I teach them the skill deliberate thinking and therefore managing their emotions better.
So ask yourself where you are asleep at the wheel with your emotions...
If your child comes home from school and tells you that they were picked on or excluded that day, do you take them out for ice cream so that you both can avoid feeling the hurt that is present?
Do you avoid tough conversations that you need to have by distracting yourself with a shopping spree ~ Discovering that you can't buy peace?
Do you numb yourself with a bag of chips after you experienced a disappointment or embarrassing situation?
Do you instigate a fight with your spouse, to avoid dealing with the root of your anger ~that you were overlooked for the big promotion that you deserved?
Once we stop disconnecting from our emotions, we can use them as guidance to grow, heal, and create how we really want to feel. You don't need any circumstance to change, in order for you to change the way that you feel. Emotional intelligence will remove the fear around negative emotions and show you how important they are in assisting you back to the positive ones. By deciding how we want to feel, we can think our way into living more consciously. That is true power.
Want to tap into that power? Reach out to me michelle@visionarymentoringgroup.com. I will discuss the different ways that we can work together to set you up for emotional freedom and success.
With VISIONS of LOVE,
Michelle Dunk, President & Founder In beTWEEN Girls, Non-Profit /CEO Visionary Mentoring Group /#1 Best Selling Author /Motivational Speaker
