God is Within Me, I will Not Fall
By Lena
Psalm 46:5 states: “God is within her, she will not fall.”
It was only until my Junior year of college where that verse truly resonated with me. As cliche as it may sound, life has truly been a rollercoaster. There have been many highs, followed by many lows. During the difficult times life has presented I have always found it in me to stay positive and strong.
I grew up in a Christian household and from a young age developed a relationship with God. My faith truly became my own once I went to college. I no longer had my parents around to take me to church or my weekly bible studies. If I wanted to maintain a relationship with God, I had to do it on my own.
I got very down on myself at one point in time, everything in my life felt as if it was falling apart. I went through a short period of time where I shut down. I didn’t speak to any of my peers, I didn’t engage in any of my normal hobbies, I simply felt numb. My friends knew of the many struggles I faced day in an day out, and would tell me how much they admired my strength and how I always chose to carry a positive mindset. This haunted me as I knew I was slipping away from something I always felt was an important foundation and mindset. I was going through the playlists on my phone, as music has always been a place of comfort. I stumbled across a playlist of mine where I had various Christian songs. I hit shuffle and the song that began playing hit me hard. “Oceans” by Hillsong United played as I laid staring at my ceiling. A smile crept on my face. Feelings of peace and comfort came over me. The numbness slowly disappeared. I was overcome with the sudden urge to stop my music, sit up, and say a prayer. This is something that I had stopped doing for a good amount of time since I had gotten to college. Here and there I would watch a sermon online, but what I failed to do, was maintain a relationship with God.
When I closed my eyes and began praying, I let out everything. I casted out all my worries, troubled situations, and burdens to God. I apologized for having stopped putting forth the effort to have a relationship with him. I prayed for a renewed sense of strength, and positivity. That he could help me get back on my feet and keep doing what I always do, moving forward.
The next day I awoke feeling rejuvenated. I was ready to take on the day and overcome my demons and get myself back on track. I was scrolling through a social media platform when I saw a post quoting a bible verse that while I had heard of it before, I didn’t relate to it until that moment. The verse read:“God is within her, she will not fall.” - Psalm 46:5. This hit me hard due to the fact that I could relate to it. In my moments of weakness there was always still something within me that kept pushing forward, while I may not have been 100% myself, I always held a hope that I will get through the troubled waters, even if it takes me some time. This relates to the verse in how it says that God is within me, I will not fall. With a relationship with God, you will not fall. He has your back through the ups and downs in your life, you just can’t be afraid to go to him.
Ever since that dark time in my life, I began praying every morning, and every night. My day feels incomplete without doing so. I may not go to church every weekend, but I still have my own way of maintaining my relationship with God. Such a relationship has filled me with strength and hope that I can conquer all battles. I truly felt myself becoming Empowered & Poised after reinvesting in not only my faith, but myself.
