Kindness Over Everything

By Arastasia Rolain

You wake up every day and you tell yourself the things you hate about your body, your life, and your personality. You stare in the mirror and pinch at your fat, pull at your wrinkles, and let that inner voice wear you down. My goodness, we are hard on ourselves. We don’t deserve this. Would you ever let another person say those awful things about you? Would you tolerate your best friend poking your thighs and projecting hate over them? Would you allow your husband to pinch your belly roles and regret the piece of toast you ate for breakfast? Would you allow a loved one to remind you of failures instead of successes?

Absolutely not.

So why do we allow OURSELVES to do such an awful thing?

Learn to be kind.

Be kind to yourself.

My name is Arastasia Rolain, and I own Arastasia Photography - a studio located in Cleveland, Ohio. I believe in empowering women, helping them see themselves in a different light and doing a little bit of self-love from time to time. I believe you should love yourself and dismiss that hate.

We don’t need it and nor do we have time or energy for it. I believe in all shapes and sizes, all colors and ages, and all forms of beauty.

You. Are. Beautiful. Say it out loud, ten times. Right now. “I am beautiful.”

Learning to love yourself isn’t easy. You literally have to train your brain to think a different way.

But I promise if you do it, you’re going to feel a sense of relief. You’re going to feel more positive, more energized, and the best of all - you might just feel happy.

 So, be kind.

 Be kind in your morning routine. Every time you say something negative about your body, follow it up with three positive things. And say them out loud - EVERY TIME. Can’t think of three – try again. Force yourself to love those gorgeous hips that serve you well. LOVE those big thighs, cause guess what? Those get you to and from everywhere you need to be in life. That cleavage is everything most women want - LOVE IT. That drive and that intelligence, it's what makes you the motivated person so many strive to be. Acknowledge it and appreciate it. Be kind in front of your children. They’re watching and they see how you treat yourself and talk about yourself. After all, you are their inner voice. Teach THEIR voice to be kind by your example.

Be kind to someone you really really want to be un-kind to. Holding onto hate and aggressive feelings only harms your brain. They’re toxic and exhausting. They won’t help with your self love journey - they’ll just cause more hate.

Be kind to the woman that “you’d love to look just like.” Remember, she has her own insecurities and secret wishes. You don’t know her struggles.

And always be kind when you fail. We all fail. And it’s okay to. Maybe you messed up, maybe you didn’t try as hard. We’ve all been there. So analyze the situation, recognize what went wrong, and then tell yourself 3 things you did right. 3 things you’re proud of yourself for; Self-love starts with YOU. No one else.

Train your mind.

Focus on you.

Focus on the positive; not the negative.

Focus on the success; not the failure.

Focus on inspiring someone to do the same; positivity is contagious.

Focus on that inner mean girl that you PROMISE you’re no longer going to be. She’s toxic. She hurts you. She is so tiring.

You are smart. You are radiant. You are beautiful. You are strong.

And you are now aiming to be kind.

Kindness over everything. Always.