Learning to Love MYself

By Brooke

As a young girl, I had the typical middle school and high school insecurities that most teenagers face. However, I let my insecurities consume my thoughts and actions over the course of my high school experience. I would look at the girls around me and question why I was not as skinny, why my hair didn’t have perfect curls, why I didn't have perfect curves, or why my face wasn’t as perfect. I would sit in front of my mirror, and I couldn’t even see a person anymore, all I saw were my own flaws. 

I would go on social media and scroll through accounts of celebrities, and all I saw were the features they had that I didn’t have. It reached the point where I didn’t want people to see me as a strong and independent woman because that went against what I thought society expected of me. I didn’t want people to view me as someone who was smart, I wanted them to see me as someone who was pretty. I was afraid that I would never be good enough for those around me, and that people would like me better if I was prettier. I hated the way I looked, and it caused me to question whether I would even accomplish anything since I didn’t look “beautiful.” I was my own bully, and I never let a day go by that I didn’t think about my flaws. I was so hard on myself and constantly trying to fit into society's ideal body image that I hadn’t even bothered to enjoy high school. 

If I had the chance to give advice to my younger self, I would tell her that she is good enough, and that she will eventually come love the way she looks. I would make sure to let my younger self know that it might be hard at first to imagine how she would be happy with not looking “perfect,” but eventually she will. I would want my younger self to know that looks are not the only important thing in life. I would follow my advice by telling my younger self about all the accomplishments that I was able to achieve, even without having a “perfect” body. I would want her to know that I am now happier than I have even been all because I was able to learn to love and accept myself for who I was. Now that I have finally stopped trying to change the way I look, I smile more, I laugh more, and I enjoy every bit of life more than I used to. It pains me to think about how I never felt much joy in my life and that my own thoughts were the reason why.

I know that even if I had the opportunity to tell my younger self this advice, I probably wouldn’t have listened to it. The social pressure of having flawless looks had infiltrated my thoughts, causing me to only care about fixing my own flaws. However, knowing that I was able to make it through a time period filled with insecurities would have given my younger self hope. I would not give this advice just to myself, though. I would want all young girls to know that most older women have experienced similar struggles, and that they understand how hard it is to deal with anxiety and self doubt. I want young girls to know that they are perfect just the way that they are, and that they don’t need to change to resemble those around them.