Lessons From My Horse

By Megan Carpenter

I’ve been in love with horses since I was 7 years old. That’s why I was shocked, humbled, and overjoyed when a friend actually gifted me one of her horses a year and a half ago. I’m now the proud owner of a big, gray horse named Nataya.

Little did I know that, aside from being a dream come true, my new horse would teach me four valuable lessons about being empowered and poised: 

1. Stand your ground: When I first met Nataya, she hadn’t been ridden often for a few years, so she was what horse people call “green.” That means she wasn’t super well trained, was a little wild, and thought she was in charge.

When I started training and working with her, we fought. A lot. There were even a couple times she charged at me because she was so annoyed!

At first, this scared me. After all, she is a half-ton animal.

But my friend, who is a horse trainer, taught me to stand my ground - to hold a rope, put my arms out, look as big as I could, and not back down. I had to let my horse know that I would not be pushed around.

And you know what? It worked. Nataya has never charged at me again.

I often think about this situation in relation to the rest of my life. There will always be people who choose to push others around - verbally, emotionally, psychologically, and physically.

But, if I can stand my ground against a 1,000 lb animal running straight at me, I can stand my ground against any human.

2. Put your whole self into what you do: One of the parts of owning a horse that people don’t like to talk about is the need to clean stalls in the barn. It is a dirty, stinky job. You fill up wheelbarrows with muck, push them outside to dump them, and then do it again. When you’re done, you’re drenched in sweat and covered in a layer of dust and dirt.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to push a full wheelbarrow through 4 inches of mud… but I know I have! I literally had to put my entire body weight behind it and push. My boots slid, my jeans got covered in muck, but that wheelbarrow moved.

Until I started cleaning stalls, moving heavy equipment in the barn, and pushing overfilled wheelbarrows through mud, I’d never actually had to use literally every last ounce of strength I have to do something.

No, cleaning the barn is not my favorite thing, but the satisfaction I get from throwing everything I have into something feels amazing.

This applies outside the barn, too. Whether I’m getting in a hard workout, putting my whole heart into my work as a professional writer, or tackling projects around the house, I always feel most fulfilled when I put my whole heart - all my skills, attention, and effort - into doing my very best.

3. Consider Others’ Perspectives: Nataya has a problem right now. She is what is called “buddy sour” and “barn sour.” That means she gets anxious when she is away from her horse friends or too far away from the barn.

This has led to challenges when riding. I’ll tell her to go one direction and she’ll just turn around and head wherever she wants to go.

At first, I thought she was just being a stubborn brat. I thought if I just forced her to go where I wanted, she’d eventually behave herself.

But then my horse trainer friend explained that Nataya was actually refusing to follow my direction because she was very anxious. She feels scared when she goes away from her horse friends and the barn.

My friend shared that the solution is to ask Nataya to work hard in the places she feels safe, then push her just outside her comfort zone and let her rest. This teaches Nataya to associate going away from her horse friends and the barn with resting and relaxing, rather than with fear.

My perception of Nataya’s behavior completely changed when I took the time to consider how she thought and felt about the world. That change in perspective meant we could actually find a solution to her behavior and anxiety.

Taking the time to consider how others might think and feel about the world is super important when it comes to humans, too. Sometimes people do things that make it seem like they are being mean, angry, or intentionally problematic when in reality they are just scared or hurting inside.

Considering how others see or experience the world, rather than assuming the worst about them, allows us to be more empathetic and to work together to develop solutions to challenges. 

4. Find something you’re passionate about: Even though many people get hurt by or while riding horses, most people who ride will tell you that it is worth the risk.

Yes, I’ve fallen off my horse. Yes, she has broken my foot. Yes, she has attempted to run away with me and tried to buck me off. Yes, I could get seriously injured.

But nearly everything we do in life has risks associated with it. There are always things that could go wrong, ways we could get hurt, opportunities to fail, and chances to give up, but when a person is passionate enough about something, the rewards often outweigh the risks. Fear loses its power in the face of love.

In addition to horses, I am passionate about telling stories. As a professional writer and small business owner, I help executive leaders tell their career stories to help them secure jobs. Having my own business and working with clients that are in charge of large companies is simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating. There are risks associated with being an entrepreneur and working with opinionated clients, but I’m passionate about what I do, so, to me, the rewards outweigh the risks.

At the end of the day, my horse has taught me powerful lessons about being empowered and poised. Standing my ground, putting my whole self into what I do, learning to create solutions by considering others’ perspectives, and finding things that I am genuinely passionate about makes me feel truly empowered and helps me to become a more poised young woman.

Megan Carpenter is Empowered & Poised’s blog editor. You can find her on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/carpentermk/.