Rollercoaster Life
By Bini Noble
THEORY ON LIFE N' LIVING
My name is Bini Noble and I am a human being first and foremost, a woman, a friend, a guide, a traveler, a lover of life, and most recently, a filmmaker, who hopes to work with passionate storytellers, and tell stories to touch and inspire people around the world. I was born and raised in the Middle East, and since then, lived in India, Switzerland, Germany, Australia, France and the United States.
“YOU ARE ENOUGH. Your real beauty shines through when you love the person you are right now, and when you truly know that YOU are more than ENOUGH.”
Today, I figured I'd share a little nugget of wisdom with those of you who might be struggling with issues of self-doubt, wanting to give up on yourself and the journey you're meant to go through to be the fire you're meant to be.
"WHEN LIFE SEEMS THE DARKEST,
When all hope's gone,
When you despair
That's when you look upward n' inward,
n' see the lil' light at the end of the TUNNEL."
Life is this roller coaster ride we take on unbeknownst to our human selves, and I have formed a theory on why, quite recently. Before we come into our bodies in this physical form, there’s a round table conference that happens up there somewhere, where, like one prepares for an interview in front of a panel of judges, our soul or higher self stands in front of a panel of angels or god or whoever you’d like to picture, and review our life and basically state what the soul wants to achieve in this lifetime, given a chance to go back. We also choose those souls we want to learn from and are then granted bodies that are like the gate pass for this lifetime. :-)
Well, this lifetime of mine’s been fraught with lessons galore. Clearly, my higher self was really ambitious. My lessons this lifetime included dealing with, and healing from abuse - verbal, emotional and physical, personal losses, accidents, physical ailments that almost took my life, insecurity of who I was, and questioning my worth and almost anything else a girl could question. We have all gone through something at one time or another in our lives. For some, it might be violence, for others, it might be self-esteem issue, or abuse of different kinds.
Though I’ve had multiple upheavals in my life, this past year has been like a complete overhaul of everything I had, owned, believed in and dreamt. It made me question everything I’d thought of life. I wondered what was actually important, when we chase those trivial dreams and cry over petty things or squabble with a loved one over something insignificant. In the space of six months, I had lost my soul mate, best friend, guide, confidante, and the biggest reason I was where I was in life. Suddenly, I had to go through the motions of all the things that need to be done, when a chapter in life ends. I had to be the perfect daughter, friend, confidante, partner and every other role a woman can fill. I was consoling and comforting everyone else, answering others’ questions without being truly allowed the space to grieve. I empathized with friends, family, even exes who all thought they knew him more, or shared something unique and special with him that no one would ever understand. And, it was true to some extent. Each of them had lost someone special. And, I tried to understand their pain, not realizing I hadn’t really thought of my own, except in the most clinical way, when asked about it. I had to find a memorial place – yes, because we’d never really thought of death consciously, as something we’d expect now – someday – yes, but not right now. Well intentioned friends and family would tell me that it was going to be ok, and to throw myself into something, but for a while, I felt like I was a zombie. As if this loss wasn’t enough, I found that I’d been lying to myself about not being stressed or traumatized, when I was diagnosed with a tumor the size of a mid-size watermelon or a large coconut. I had to be operated immediately as it was growing at an alarming rate. To rule out any chance of cancer, it was sent out for a biopsy only to come back as a ‘bad type’, which meant I was lucky that I had had it removed in the nick of time, just before it turned carcinogenic. Today, I’m clean and on my way to healing myself.
I quickly took this as a sign that my work here is not done. I have much more to do. Whether it’s by sharing my journey on Instagram, counseling those who come to me, or sharing my stories in talks and now writing them on other avenues, such as Empowered and Poised. I knew I had to reach those hundreds and thousands of girls and women out there, and ask them to ‘not give up’.
No loss, and no pain justifies us giving up on our life paths, our dreams, and our loves. It also taught me that we ought never to take our health, nay – all of ourselves, for granted. We can't change the past and tomorrow is not here yet. All we have is the NOW, and we can design or define our future, by the choices we make in the present.
The struggle we go through today is helping us develop the strength we’ll need for tomorrow. Each day is a new chance for us to wipe that slate clean and create a brand new story that will reveal a stronger, more beautiful and refined you.
Most of us are overwhelmed with life’s challenges, but, if we start to prioritize them and face them one challenge at a time, we’d be able to deal with it easier. To help you smile a little more, I have a little mantra I read somewhere and try to use in my own life, “Don’t overthink things, instead, go outside, play with your pet, laugh at yourself, listen to the birds and the trees, breathe deeply and, hug a friend.” Go chase that dream, don’t take no for an answer, follow your heart and, do all you ever wanted to do. When you open that little door that stays shut because you are terrified of what’s on the other side, and take that one step, you’ll find it opens up a whole world of possibilities.
“It’s during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
I am Empowered and Poised. I look within myself daily to make those changes that I need to be the best version of myself. I’m not perfect. But, I am me. I am strong. I am beautiful as I am. Are you?
THIS IS ME SAYING CHEERS TO LIFE... I KNOW THIS YEAR - I AIM NOT TO JUST RISE FROM THE ASHES, BUT BECOME THE FIRE THAT BURNS BRIGHT AND ALLOW MY GREATNESS TO SHINE FROM WITHIN.
Connect with Bini HERE !
