The Emerging Butterfly

By Shanté

It’s been three years since my mom went home to be with the Lord. I didn’t know it then, but the day she died was the day my life changed. A new me was emerging, but I didn’t know it. I didn’t really have time to think about it. What I knew was everybody relied on me to fill her shoes; an impossible task. I can only be me. But, who is Shanté remains the question….?

I’m the leader, the manager, the consoler, the counselor, the financer. The list goes on. When there’s a need, everyone calls on me. It’s not like I hadn’t been through many storms before, but this time was different. The storms were raging. One storm would hit, then another, then another. Meanwhile, I’m carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. No one knows it. To the world, I’m the strong woman who has everything together. If it needs to be done, Shanté will take care of it. I was giving and pouring myself into the world, and no one was pouring into me. So, I continued to pour until I was empty.

God was, and continues to be, my strength. It is His strength that carries me, that sustains me. So, I’ve given all I can give. I arrive at a place I call the wilderness. I feel lost, alone, disconnected. I don’t know who I am anymore or why I’m here. I thought I knew my gifts and my purpose. I lost that too. What I’m feeling is my reality. I’m experiencing tangible losses that are impacting every area of my life, and I don’t know why. What I know for sure is the vision God gave me, and that I’m called to a higher purpose.  I’m trusting that everything I’m going through is for my good.

Through my storms and being at a loss in my own life, I continued to focus on encouraging other people to pursue their dreams...to know it’s possible...to live the life they want...to know they are a gift to the world, and give them a platform to share their stories on my talk show. I believe our power is in our story and our stories have the ability to transform lives. I hosted a large event for business owners. By the grace of God, I made it through. It was the testimonies of attendees that encouraged me and let me know I’m serving a greater purpose. I want to impact lives!

The best way to help ourselves is to help others! There’s no greater reward.

Now the event is over, I’m totally disconnected. I change my environment and go into solitude; free from distraction and worry about what’s happening outside of the space I’m in. It was necessary for me to be selfish this time. It had to be all about me. I desperately needed to discover me again. So, I’m away...just me and my dog, my books, writing pad and laptop. I disconnected from the social media..another distraction. This is a time of soul searching, prayer and seeking God’s guidance and understanding his plan for my life. I am an emerging butterly who has her new wings.

This is the rebirth of Shanté...the new me who I’m discovering everyday. I’m starting over in life and in business. God is restoring everything I lost. He is showing me who I am. I a queen. I am a light in this world. I am a disrupter of the status quo. I am a visionary. I am an innovator. I am a dream creator. I am a legacy builder. I am a healer. I am an encourager. I am a gift giver. I am more than a conquer. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My story is to be shared with the world to give hope and help others to fulfill their purpose.

I am empowered by God. What makes me empowered is my willingness to reinvent myself, to go through the process and to empower others as I’m empowered. I am poised with grace and knowing I am a gift to the world and sharing my gift. I am empowered and poised as a daughter of the Kingdom of God to carry out His plan for my life and to make this world a better place. His Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven!