The Falls
By Sarah
To say that growing up now is challenging is an understatement. In a world where we are taught that looks mean more than how you treat people and boys are more challenging than delicate women, it is near impossible to find the stable ground under your feet and trust your intuition. Coming from a woman’s perspective, wanting to fit into all the appropriate boxes and do the ‘right’ thing can be exhausting. More detrimentally, acting, looking, talking, and even being the way you are ‘supposed’ to be can lead to a full-on identity crisis, even if you knew who you indeed were in the first place. I consider myself a realistic optimist: not jagged and cynical and not wholly hopeful. I do not fit into either box, and honestly, I wouldn’t want to because you can’t ultimately be one thing, idea, concept, or theory without losing a part of yourself.
I have found through my 21 years in this life that I can never be sure of anything. The control freak inside me hates this, and tiny sirens go off in my head when I am reminded that there are forces bigger than myself. However, learning how to control the need to control and open to anything has genuinely redefined how I see the world. I have learned this through what I like to call“the Fall.” The fall is not always life-altering, but it can be transformative if you let it. You get bullied in school – fall. You have to have major surgery – fall. Someone hits you while texting and driving – fall. You think you have a supportive partner – fall. Flat on your face.
However, while you are falling (post-breakup, Coronavirus FOMO, coming home from school after being bullied), you have the power to decide how you will land. Will you land on your feet, more vital than ever, from a situation you thought would break you? Or, will you land on your face, sunk incredibly deeply in the trauma, and then decide to get up? The first option seems better and is one I would recommend, but let’s look at the second choice. Sometimes, you need to permit yourself to stay in the hard times. You need to sit and let it teach you, hurt you, change you and wake your soul up. Bouncing back is fantastic, but what will you learn from immediate gratification? Let the fall teach you how to fly.
Unfortunately, immediate gratification is what our society is all about. You can buy more followers. Drink diet shakes. Change your face with needles. Get your dream body with cool sculpting. Find someone on Tinder in 30 minutes. I urge and plead you to take it back. Reclaim your role in society. Reclaim yourself, your inner peace, your time, and your mindset. Go to the gym because it makes you feel good. Sit with the lonely kid at lunch because you know it will make their day. Feed a homeless person and do not post it on the internet. Take social media cleanses because, as the saying goes, it is not suitable for your mental health. Create a group of friends you adore and who will tell you what you need to hear.
I wish I would have known a long time ago that being a ‘nice’ lady is not the goal. I work every day to be a genuinely kind person. I am not polished; I am rough around the edges, as I do not want to fit into the cut-out our poisoned society demands. Being empowered is knowing your self-worth and that no one can take it from you. And being poised is being able to hold your head high, knowing you indeed are a kind, strong person who has let the fall give them the most muscular wings imaginable.
