What It Means To Be Productive
By Morgan
Someone out there needs to hear this, even if it’s just myself: Your worth is not measured by your productivity. As a student paying my way through college, it’s easy for me to get caught up in worry. I worry that I’m not doing my best and making the most of my experiences.
Last year, this worry honestly left me feeling stuck. I had a “more than part-time” job that was sometimes totaling 40 hours a week, over-involvement on campus and two of the most difficult classes of my collegiate career in mind. Aside from this, I always had the thought of paying for next semester looming in the back of my head.
Socially, I was not keeping up with my family or close friends. Mentally, I was frustrated at a job filled with management that didn’t respect me. Physically, my back pain had been the worst it ever was. Every day, it felt like I had a never-ending to-do list, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Nevertheless, I continued to climb my mountains, but it was never easy.
When the end of the semester neared, I realized I had no plan for the summer. It was always my goal to quit my monotonous job and aim for an internship in my field. However, I overlooked application deadlines, and mainly due to my drained mental status. By May, I was frantically emailing my professor, begging for a paid internship opportunity for the summer. This was my cry for help.
Looking back, I measured my worth in midnight coffees and all-nighters. The month of May that year seemed like the longest month of my life. After finals, which seemed like they were going to be my worst exam grade yet, I was still stressed. Everyone was travelling and bettering themselves for their career path.
I was being as productive as I possibly could while still feeling like nothing was happening in my life. Every day, I wished I was somewhere else. I wouldn’t have guessed that almost a third into the summer I would be offered a new job in my field. I will describe this position just as the first sentence the company sent me: “Congratulations on your FUN job.”
Do not wear busy as an honorable badge. Be brave enough to choose what is important and to build your well-rounded path in school. Looking back on last year, I’m happy with the outcome, but it took cutting toxic over-productivity out to be that happy. Change your atmosphere and surround yourself with people that will help you do that. I had friends that reassured me of my value, but I was only listening to the worries in my head. Every situation has its ups and downs, but in the end, it’s about how you balance it.
As a young, entrepreneurial woman, it’s easy to feel like I need to put in the extra work to keep up with my peers. There are moments when I feel like nothing I achieve will ever be good enough. To anyone else who feels this way, I often use the following verses by Mother Theresa as affirmations:
“People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centred. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.”
I have faced criticism for doing what I felt I needed to do for myself. I had the strength to say no to activities that were counterproductive to me and the courage to say yes to opportunities (even the little ones) that made me feel alive. I know you have this power, too.
