Stem, Drive, and Kindness
By Abbey
What are you most proud of in your life?
I’m most proud of myself for completing my PhD. There were times I thought about giving up. I had been in school pretty much all my life up until that point. I had gone straight from high school to college, then from my bachelor’s degree to graduate school. My friends were all getting married and having children, and I was in a long-distance relationship with my now husband. There were so many times I started exploring other options. I finally decided I was just going to get it done, and I did. It wasn’t easy. I put off starting my “real” life, but I’m very pleased with the decisions I’ve made.
What are you passionate about?
I’m passionate about helping female students feel like they can understand math. Right now, I teach biostatistics to undergraduate students. A large portion of my class each semester is female, and I hope I can serve as an example of a woman who is knowledgeable in a STEM field, and act as a role model to female students who feel less confident in their mathematical abilities.
What makes you feel confident?
Self-confidence is something I’ve struggled with my entire life. I still have to remind myself that I know what I’m talking about. My motto has always been “fake it until you make it.” Fake confidence often helps you feel more confident in yourself. For me, a large part of this has always been to dress the part. I pick clothes that make me look professional. I also make an effort to learn as much as I can about a subject. If you are knowledgeable, you will feel more confident in your abilities.
What is your favorite inspirational quote?
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”
What advice would you give to your younger self?
First, I would tell myself to care less about what other people think. As I get older, the more I realize that people think about you much less than you think they do. When you are younger, it’s hard to place yourself on the outside looking in. I always try to put myself in someone else’s shoes. Trying to see others’ points of view gives you a much better view of the world and yourself.
I would also tell myself that “you will never be perfect.” I’ve wasted so much of my life trying to be the absolute best at everything I do. When I was in graduate school, I realized I needed to let go of that part of myself. Striving for perfection was causing me a lot of stress. I feel like my life has now been better as a result. I‘m not the best at everything, and trying to be is not worth the cost. It’s a balancing act. I typically have all or nothing mindset. I’m working on being content with the gray areas of my life.
Finally, I would tell myself to be kind to everyone - it’s one of the most important things we can do for one another. You never know what someone else is going through. A smile, a word of encouragement or just listening can mean the world to someone else. However, you must be kind to yourself first. As women, we must be kind, especially to one another.
