Having Social Anxiety & Maintaining Friendships
By Nataliya
Having social anxiety in public settings, around people we don’t know, can be extremely difficult. Having social anxiety amongst our closest friends and family can be just as big of a nightmare.
Friends and family who don't struggle with social anxiety might not fully understand the impact that it has on nearly everything we do. Therefore, they may not understand when our anxiety starts to affect the relationship that you have with them.
Social anxiety can cause the person experiencing it to isolate themselves. They often want to avoid the crippling feeling they get when being overstimulated. Some of the many things that can trigger someone with social anxiety are:
Being in crowded public spaces.
Being forced to speak.
Being bothered by others speaking too much.
Loud noises.
If you are friends with someone who has social anxiety it might feel hard to invite them places or get them out of the house. It may seem like they don't want to do anything or be around anyone. A good thing to note is - this more than likely isn't totally the case! Likely, your friend wants to participate in activities they are invited to, but it can feel too physically and mentally demanding for them.
Another common element of social anxiety is that the person who is experiencing it may not share that their anxiety is the reason for them not being able to join in the festivities. Sometimes you may not hear from them for weeks at a time, and when they finally get back to you they may apologize profusely. The individual dealing with social anxiety may divulge their feelings about why they were absent at a later time than you may expect.
It is hard to have any form of anxiety, and it's just as hard to explain the impact to someone else who may not share in your struggle. Maintaining relationships with social anxiety can be very challenging. Even close friends or family members may not know that someone they care about is dealing with severe social anxiety. Instead, they may write them off as dismissive, rude, lazy, and confusing. People with social anxiety sometimes lose relationships with people they are close to due to challenges in communicating. Sometimes social anxiety can lead to feeling guilty or embarrassed for not hanging out as often as they’d like, struggling to stay in touch, or seeming less than enthusiastic when they are around people.
If you are friends with someone or related to someone suspected to have social anxiety, be patient with them. Every day may feel like a struggle. The severity depends on the person and their personal experiences. If you have an opportunity, talk to them about it and let them know that you are there for them. A small conversation and listening ear can go a long way!
For more information on mental health supports check out Empowered & Poised’s resource page HERE.
If you’d like to connect with Nataliya, you can find her on Instagram @nataliyaspen or on LinkedIn at Nataliya Davis
