Stay True To Yourself
By Sidney
For as long as I could remember, I never knew who I was. By the time I entered high school, I had absorbed so many different personalities that I wasn’t “me” anymore. The biggest mistake I have ever made was allowing everyone else around me to define who I was. I know now that I have the power to control myself, but it took time for me to get there.
I had always been regarded as a somewhat “different” kid. My peers didn’t outright bully me, but I also wasn’t accepted by them either. I was desperate to fit in, to feel as though I belonged. You see, my school is located in a small, sub-rural community of Ohio, so finding fellow high-achieving, bookish students was challenging. As I grew up and entered middle school, I realized how much fitting in meant to American society. This pressure, coupled with my struggle with my mental health, led me to do some things that I am not proud of. However, I refused to let this way of thinking control my life forever.
After suffering a season-ending injury, I was forced to take a step back from what I loved most-- working out. Without my main way of coping with stress and handling my emotions, I needed to seriously reframe my thinking about myself. Being benched made me realize how much I was affected by the opinions of others. I felt as though everyone saw me as lazy or weak. I knew that I had a reason to be-- I was literally in a boot for a month-- but I was paranoid that my peers thought poorly of me. So I had to sit myself down and give myself a much-needed wake-up call.
For the most part, I have been able to overcome many of my struggles. I wholeheartedly believe that the secret to my success is that I did what I wanted to do, not what I was being pressured into doing. I started running so much because I wanted to get in shape for cross country and track. I wanted to get stronger and feel like a boss, so I started weightlifting. I wanted to fix my diet because I loved the way eating healthy made me feel. I wanted to fix my life because I had realized that I deserve it. One of my friends once told me that even if I looked like her, I would still be just as insecure I was in my own body. In this day and age, striving to be the most “perfect” person in the world is not only unrealistic but incredibly harmful. And even if we were to obtain that “ideal” body image, we would be so preoccupied with maintaining that physique that it’s not even worth it in the end. Everyone is created to be different, and embracing those differences is completely okay but necessary. No matter what, though, change takes time, especially healthy change. It may be incredibly frustrating, but you must give yourself time to adapt to those modifications.
It may sound like a cliche, but in the end, you have control over your own life. In the grand scheme of things, you must live with yourself the longest. And if you think about it, there is no realistic way to compare one individual with another-- we all have our own stories, our past. We all come from different walks of life and circumstances. The fact that our society has normalized the idea that strangers can have so much say in your life is absurd, but it doesn’t always have to be this way. We all have the power within us to stand apart, to stand out. And it may take time, but I promise that it is somewhere, and you more than deserve to find that personal acceptance. And regarding the haters, they won’t be around forever. The same people who poke fun at me for being a nerd now ask me for homework answers. The same people who called me fat now ask me for weight loss advice. Confidence attracts people-- both for good and bad reasons--, but you’ll have the strength to stay true to yourself. Don’t put yourself out of the fight just yet! You never know what you are capable of until you try. I want to leave you with my favorite lyrics from a song that I listen to all the time:
“From the very start
I had an open heart
I put it on display
For everyone to see.
It don’t take much
To fall apart
When you’re a victim of insecurities.
I try to understand
Why they don’t like who I am,
But I just let it be
As long as I’m gonna be me.”
No matter who you are or what you are going through, never forget that you are loved, and you will never be alone. Keep being awesome!
