The Right Mindset And a Bit Of Patience
By Michaela
Five years ago, I started my senior year of high school. I was very involved and had a great group of friends I could depend on, but I was also ready for college. My senior year flew by and before I knew it, I was handed my diploma and set free into the real world.
That same year, I lost multiple loved ones and struggled with what seemed like endless grief and heartbreak. I started taking college courses and began a part-time job as a cashier. No matter how busy I kept myself, I was the loneliest I had ever been. The friends I had in high school slowly disappeared and my anxiety and depression grew as I continued my tedious routine. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I felt stuck. My anxiety and depression grew and I found it harder to get out of that funk. I tried reaching out to friends, but I felt like I was constantly bugging them for reassurance. Unfortunately, this feeling got worse as the years went on. I couldn’t find myself and I felt like I was going to ever be happy again. The more I thought about my future, the more I thought that I would never find my passion or purpose in life.
Late one night, I was sitting in my room and I thought to myself: “This is pointless. There is absolutely no reason to constantly sit here and sulk. I am wasting my life away and I am tired of being upset all the time.”
As simple as that may sound, that was my turning point. I started to build myself up rather than knocking myself down. It was difficult, yes, but I was slowly making progress. I became hopeful for the unknown future and I was proud of the woman I was becoming. I took on some new hobbies and tried to keep myself busy doing the things I loved. But just like all great things, it took time. I pushed through my negative feelings and had a new outlook on life. I took care of myself mentally, emotionally and physically, and worked hard to appreciate myself more. I became a firm believer that things that were meant to happen will happen, and if they don’t, then it wasn’t meant to be nor is it worth stressing over. I worked on loving and being there for myself rather than constantly depending on others. Even though I lost a lot of friends along the way, I firmly believe that they had a purpose for being in my life and I am thankful for everything they taught me along the way.
After some time, I was introduced to an arts program at a four-year university. I was about to complete my Associates degree at my first college and figured it wouldn’t hurt to apply. I filled out the application and a few months later, I was accepted into the program. Shortly after that, I started off my first semester at this new university. For the first time in a while, I felt like I found myself and that I was exactly where I needed to be. Flash forward a few years, I am now at the prime age of 22, working on my final semester in college, celebrating almost two years with my best friend, and loving every moment of being an aunt to my 18 month old niece.
It’s difficult to climb your way out of a dark place, yes, but know that you are not alone. Take advantage of your resources and reach out to loved ones or even a certified professional. Continually practice taking care of yourself both mentally and physically. Remind yourself that any effort, big or small, is still an effort even if it is as simple as recycling the countless water bottles you have been keeping in your room. Take that shower or bath you have been putting off for a few days. Revisit your old hobbies or try something new. Surround yourself with unconditional love and joy. Practice putting yourself first. But above all, be patient with yourself. You are always worth it.
